For all those who wish to have a romantic affair WITH a foreign country

As summer approaches and school finally comes to a halt for a mere split second of our education-filled lives, I feel the need to offer a word of advice to travelers making their way to foreign countries. Though I am not the most experienced, I have made enough mistakes to offer a word of advice to the new travelers.

First of all when you're entering a foreign airport and are waiting to make it through customs, DON'T take photographs. You might think that your hell-ridden journey across the ocean is over, but the government of the nation your standing in does not. If you do not feel like getting kicked out of the country before you've even officially entered it, I recommend that you refrain from taking pictures of the airport, even if the airport's Spanish architecture is extremely intriguing.

Second, there are two items that will be extremely beneficial to your overall well-being and hygiene while on the trip. If you are going to Spain, bring napkins. I'm not joking, their napkins feel like tissue paper and will surely give you a skin disease if overused. Second, bring a shower curtain. If you don't want to hop out of the shower to find yourself in the middle of God's next great flood, bring it. There are dangerous consequences such as the threat of ending up in a French hospital like Madeline. I'm not joking. It happened to my friend.

Thirdly (I'm pretty sure that's not a real word, but I like so deal.)Bring a Jacob. Now a Jacob, if you're not familiar with one, is someone who can take the long bus rides across the European countryside and turn them into a Broadway show. He can make a tour of the most renowned tower in the world be a dance party. And he can make an airplane ride both a presidential debate and the Superbowl (punt the baby). He knows when to act like a complete idiot and at the same time gaze at some of the most controversial artwork in the world and appove of its oddness. And yet this Jacob of yours is an essential addition to your luggage. As if traveling isnt interesting enough, he finds new ways to surprise you.



PS- Don't almost lose your passport like John almost did.
PPS- Don't accidentally erase all the pictures on your camera.

Fourth Grade Social Studies Revisited--Part One

It has come to my attention, due to the fact that I'm bound to Civics by educational duty, that too many people don't know anything about politics. So for those of you who have been living on an island off the coast of nowhere for the past three years or so, I'd like to take this time to fill you in.

Barack H. Obama
I know this could come as a shock for a large portion of the nation, but if you haven't already noticed: he's black. Though he is criticized for not really changing anything, I'll leave that for the masses and tell you that in the past year he's bought a dog, been on the cover of TIME Magazine countless times, was the first man to have a Beer Summit, breathed down Congress' neck in attempt to get the health care bill fully and completely finished, passed the largest stimulus package in the history of mankind, appointed the first Latina Supreme Court justice, and was too respectful to the Emperor of Japan. And as MOST of us know, people like Harry Reid have caused politicians and commentators to dance around the subject of racism and debate about whether we've actually made any progress in Martin Luther King's dream.

Joe Biden
For the past year, this guy from Scranton has taken a vow of silence for fear of sticking his foot in mouth. His biggest appearances have been SNL, the Beer Summit, and Congressional get-togethers. Dick Cheney has mouthed off more than Biden has even spoken in the last couple months. If you don't know who Dick Cheney is then there is probably not alot of hope for you. Despite all of this, there is NO EXCUSE for not knowing who Biden is.

Sarah Palin
Last year, an Alaskan mother tried to take over the world, including Russia. When that didn't work out she figured brainwashing the minds of many on national television would be close enough to world domination. But despite her failures, her surprisingly accurate 20/20 vision that reached across the Pacific to Putin was an innovative step in great eye care for the American people. And though we will never be able to decipher the language in which she spoke when talking to Katie Couric, her impressive leap for womankind would make Susan B. Anthony proud.


Nancy Pelosi
Her stare could murder millions. That's enough said really.


Hilary Clinton (as known as Bill Clinton)
Susan B. Anthony wasn't on her side this past year. Her hatred for Palin's glory after only three monthes of experience and her desire to rip her husband's voice right out of his throat left her needing some anger management therapy and a time slot on SNL. Whether as a sympathy prize or just for the sole fact that she knows what she's talking about, Obama gave her the position Secretary of State. Though Bill likes to pop in once in a while, she tries her best to make a name for herself, one that doesn't remind people of Bill's scandulous escapades years ago.

John McCain
Though McCain's not really in the picture anymore (except when he's criticizing the Democrats) he was extremely important about a year and half ago. His loyalty for his country and his Bucket List inspired the nation. Though some believe his choice for vice president (Sarah Palin) was the reason for his downfall, others were afraid that he would have died in office (which would have made Palin president which in turn would have left America in a state of turmoil---so yes, Palin scared everyone out of the voting booth.)


This concludes the first part of your educational journey. I hope you'll join me next time.....

Next Time I Should Just Inoculate Babies in Burma

I have no clue what I'm doing, but if John and Jacob can do this then practically anyone can. Personally I don't think I'm interesting enough to have a blog. But if it means that Meryl Streep might be in a movie about me in the near future then so be it.

My life has been extremely dull for the past three weeks so I don't have any exciting stories about US Army recruitments or putting to shame Sara McLachlan and her love for canines (Jacob and John) I'm probably doing this wrong. And this blog is only another way I can procrastinate and avoid doing physics homework. I promise I'll have more entertaining posts as soon as I begin living my life again. If this semester is anything like last semester with it's Nobamaness and librarian sabotagers than I'm golden for blogging material. But until then my friends (if there is anyone actually reading this) you will have to settle for filler words and transition sentences that go no where.

Thanks to me and my sisters obsession for ER, I could probably help birth a child by now. Other than that though, I have gotten dumber by the second. It's going to take me an entire semester to relearn what they've supposedly taught us in the last one. Next break, I should just opt to do what they do in Four Christmases and make sock puppets for blind children in Yemen.